Playing With Fire
by The Cheshire Cheese
Summary: AU: Lon Suder survived "The Basics," and helps Kes in Airpoincs. A Betazoid who can't feel and an Ocampa exploring her powers have a lot in common. Tuvok fears his two pupils are growing too close for their own good...


**A/N: I do not own "Star Trek: Voyager." **

**This is set in an alternate Season 3.**

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><p>The briefing was short this time. Everything ran smoothly. After a little over a week, Neelix and Kes were both recovering from their breakup, and now on friendly terms. Tom and B'Elanna were arguing less frequently, and Janeway couldn't help but sense that there might even be something more than friendship growing between the two. Everything over the last few weeks had been running smoothly, come to think of it. The occasional alien attack and dangerous space anomaly notwithstanding, Voyager had really quieted down since leaving Kazon space, and seeing the last of Seska. Chakotay had recovered from the mental trauma the Cardassian had put him through; Samantha Wildman's half-Ktarian daughter, Naomi, was finishing up toddlerhood at the expected rate; and the ship's prisoner Lon Suder was behaving himself.<p>

The only person who seemed on edge was Tuvok. After the meeting, the Vulcan lingered, saying nothing until the doors hissed shut behind Tom and B'Elanna.

"Tuvok?" Janeway approached her old friend. "Is there something you'd like to discuss?"

"There is."

"Let's hear it."

"It concerns Kes, and Mr. Suder."

Janeway gave the Vulcan a long look. "Did something happen in airponics bay?"

After a beat, Tuvok replied, "Not yet."

"Was that irony, Tuvok?"

"There is a sense of irony about the situation." Tuvok admitted. "Captain, as you know, Kes and Suder are both my pupils."

Janeway nodded. "You help Kes exercise her mental powers, and you take Mr. Suder through meditations to keep his—_urges_, in check."

"Mr. Suder's lessons include more than that now, Captain. Over the last few weeks, I've been taking him through mental exercises similar to those I do with Kes, in order to help him access his Betazoid empath abilities. You are also aware, that as Mr. Suder has been assisting Kes in the airponics bay, the two have become quite close."

Janeway had a feeling she knew where Tuvok was going with this. "Go on."

"Yesterday, Kes and Suder both requested that I begin tutoring both of them together. And possibly allow them to…experiment on each other's minds."

Janeway thought this over. "Well we've seen what can happen when Kes's mind mixes with someone with violent urges… First that incident with the female Caretaker, then that warlord taking control of Kes's body…I can certainly see where our concern is coming from. But Tuvok, wouldn't Kes only be _reading_ Suder's thoughts? It wouldn't be quite the same as a mind meld would it?"

After a moment, Tuvok admitted, "No, it would not."

They stood in silence for a moment, as the captain thought it over. "You're the tutor Tuvok. If you believe it's dangerous for the two species to be mixing their mental powers at this stage in their development, then it's your prerogative to keep their lessons separate."

Tuvok nodded, but didn't look completely satisfied. "I wonder, Captain, if Kes and Suder should also continue to work together in airponics."

Janeway looked at him sharply. "You think one of them would disobey your orders, and start experimenting?"

Tuvok didn't reply immediately. "Not with their mental abilities."

Janeway's eyebrows rose. "They're _that_ close?"

"Not yet. But with Kes no longer promised to Neelix, she may become…vulnerable."

"Vulnerable? As I understand it, Kes was the one who ended the relationship."

Tuvok was silent.

"Tuvok, I understand your concern for Kes. But she's almost three years old. That's about thirty in human years, and—how many in Vulcan? The point is, she's a big girl. If she chooses to pursue a relationship with Suder, it's her business."

"Captain," Tuvok stared at her unblinkingly, "Suder is a convicted murderer."

"I know that. I didn't say I approved Tuvok. I said it was her business."

* * *

><p>"Pollination time already," Suder said, bringing the tray of pollination beetles over to Kes.<p>

Grinning toothily, Kes took the tray. "Lon, did I ever tell you I once ate an entire tray of these?"

"When you entered your 'logium." That little country accent he had, Kes loved it. "Half the ship knows about that Kes. I guess Neelix let it slip to someone, and the word just spread. They were callin' you 'bug eater' behind your back."

Kes laughed behind her hand. "No, no they did not, Lon, you're making that up!"

"No I'm serious! Even the two security guards while I was in the brig. 'Bug eater,' 'beetle muncher,' 'grub rustler,"

"Stop! Lon, stop it!"

Kes was playfully smacking his arm when Tuvok stepped into the room.

Kes and Suder took a step apart from each other, and Kes put her hands behind her back.

Kes didn't know why she was behaving like a child whose father had just walked into the room. Kes was an adult; she didn't even refer to herself as a "girl" anymore. She _felt_ more adult, in her slimming cherry-red body suit, no longer prancing around the ship in the jumper dresses of an adolescent Ocampa. Her blonde hair was still short and feathery, but she was thinking about growing it out to look more mature.

Next to her, Suder smoothed his gray-blue shirt.

"Kes, Mr. Suder." Tuvok looked between the two of them. "I have spoken with the captain about your request. It has been decided that, for two individuals of different species who are at an armature stage in developing their mental abilities, experimenting together would pose an unacceptable risk."

Suder, by now, had learned to control himself, and didn't lash out at Tuvok.

Kes listened patiently. When she was certain the Vulcan was finished speaking, she asked, "What about down the road, when our powers are more developed and better controlled?"

Tuvok looked as if he didn't like the idea. "We will make a decision, if and when the time comes."

They exchanged polite goodbyes and the Vulcan left.

Turning back to Kes, Suder's nose wrinkled. "'If and when.' Guess he doesn't have such high hopes for me after all."

Kes's eyebrows went up humorously. "What makes you so sure he was talking about you Lon? I'm the one whose entire _species_ hasn't had full use of our powers for generations."

They went on through the bay, distributing the pollination beetles around the plants in silence. Kes watched Suder whenever he was looking down or facing away from her. By now she was past denying her feelings. Kes had always been drawn to the men who were _interesting_. First there was Elgan, a childhood friend on Ocampa, with abnormally shaped ears and a fascination with dangerous animals; then Neelix, whose face was unlike anything from the Ocampa's strangest fantasy stories, who dazzled her with his tales about his adventures through the stars; and her brief crush Tom Paris, Voyager's resident flyboy and troublemaker.

Lon seemed to fall somewhere between Tom and Neelix. His face was more close-to-home for her than a Talaxian's, like Tom's was. Like Tom, Lon had a boyish look about him. And he didn't patronize Kes, or treat her like a child, the way Neelix so often did. But like Neelix, Lon was far less masculine than Tom, sharing more of her interests. And his eyes were anything but Ocampan. They were unique, alien (at least to an Ocampan). They reminded Kes of perfectly polished opals. And then, his voice. All the men Kes had ever fallen for had soft voices like Lon, she realized. His accent made her love it even more.

"Y'know," Lon said, setting a beetle inside a flower, "I get the feeling sometimes that Vulcan doesn't trust me."

Kes looked back down at her work. "Doesn't trust _us_."

She got the sense that Suder had just stopped what he was doing, and was now looking at her. She turned around to face him. "I mean that, he sees me as an adolescent. He thinks, with my short lifespan, I'll never really mature." She turned back around. "Everyone does."

"I don't."

Kes turned around again, flashing a tight, embarrassed smile.

"You're probably the most mature person I know Kes. You don't lose your temper, you don't judge anyone, you listen to Tuvok. You, you practice your exercises, without him having to remind you."

Still smiling, Kes's blue eyes moved to the beetles in Suder's tray. Her eyelids dropped just slightly, and one of the beetles began to move. Suder watched the bug rise up off the tray, into the air, his black eyes widening with amusement. Kes brought the confused insect sailing through the air, towards her own outstretched hand. Suder chuckled, in a way that Kes had once found disconcerting. Now she found it irresistible.

"Kes," Suder pointed out. "Tuvok said no experimenting in the same room."

"I'm not experimenting, I'm exercising. I've done this trick a hundred times before."

"Is it true you sometimes 'exercise' with fire?"

Kes looked at him under her eyelids. She knelt over one of the plants, cupping her hands around it. Suder watched her, in a way that made Kes think of a hawk. Kes let her mind dip into the plant at the cellular level. This was the trick that Tannis had taught her, the rogue Ocampan. She'd once ignited the entire airponics bay with it by accident, and later almost killed Tuvok by boiling his blood. But almost a year of practice had made it practically harmless. The flame began on one tiny leaf, and soon spread to the rest of the plant. She kept it contained, so that the orange fire didn't even touch the plants right next to it.

She felt Suder behind her, _right_ behind her. She was picking something up from him, mentally. Over the months, as Suder trained with Tuvok, his emotions had begun to surface. Before the mind meld, Suder had been incapable of sensing his own emotions, much less anyone else's (as most Betazoids could). Now he was starting to experience the basics; happiness, anger, sadness, and most frequently guilt. Kes was picking up some combination of the above, though much more faintly than what she sensed from most people.

Suder whispered into her conch-shaped ear, "You sensing anything from me?"

He often asked her this question, when they were alone.

With her eyes almost shut, still playing with her flame, she answered, "Yes."

Suder moved a hand around her waist. "What."

She brought the flame upward, creating a small pillar of light branching up from the blackening, crumbling plant.

"Joy." She began twisting the flame, so it looked like a fiery drill. "Tranquility…sadness…" And something new: "Regret."

Eventually he whispered, "Those my emotions or yours?"

"Hard to tell," she said looking up, finally meeting his eyes.

They were so large and solid black, Kes could see her reflection in them, illuminated by the firelight. Suder's hand was up next to her face, but he stopped short of touching her. Kes reached up and took his wrist, then moved inward. His lips felt downright cold, with her own body so hot from the fire in front of her and the rushing blood inside her. He seemed like an inexperienced kisser, so Kes took the lead, working her tongue against his.

Within moments, she was encompassed by warmth, both from Suder's arms around her, and the flame now circling both of them. Kes had momentarily lost control of her experiment; the fire had spread. Plants around them caught flame, creating a flickering golden wall around them. But she quickly got a hold of it, stopping the fire from spreading too far.

Suder didn't seem to notice at first. But when they finished their kiss and he broke away, his black eyes slowly began to open, then bulged when he saw the fire.

Kes threw her arm back around Suder's neck, rolling her head up at him. "I've got a hold on it," she assured him. "It's under control."

Suder glanced around in amazement. The fire was indeed contained to a circle around the two of them, the plants in the rest of the room untouched.

"What if the computer detects a fire in the airponics bay?" Suder warned.

Kes's eyes narrowed, and she pulled him into a second kiss.

Before long they were on the ground, kissing and touching. Suder seemed especially drawn to her ears. She ran her hand again and again through is silver hair. Then under his shirt. His hand moved around her body. The fire kept them warm, as the clothes began to come off. First Suder's shirt went. Then he was unzipping her suit. For who knew how long, they explored each other's bodies, and Kes explored Suder's mind. His emotions were more pronounced now than in all the other times she'd read him put together.

Suder suddenly gasped. At first Kes thought it was simple arousal, but when he gasped a second time she sat up. She had never seen that look on his face before.

"Lon?"

"I—I just felt something," he looked at her. "In my mind, I mean."

Kes's eyes widened. "From…?"

Suder's eyes bored into her. "You're relieved right now. You're…excited. You just fully recovered from something."

Kes breathed a small laugh. "Lon! You're…"

Lon looked away from her, stunned with himself.

Eventually Kes put her hand on his cheek and said, "We're not just going to sit here, are we?"

Lon looked up and down her almost-naked body. "You mean you wanna…?"

"Yes!" she chuckled. "I'm not done!"

She lay back on the floor, which was now so hot it might be dangerous for some species. Fortunately Ocampans and Betazoids had a higher tolerance for heat than, say, Humans. Suder removed her remaining undergarments, and then stopped. Kes sensed…confusion. And shock.

"Um, Kes,"

"What is it Lon?"

"Kes there's…there's nothin' down here."

Kes pushed herself partway up. "Well of course there isn't. My Elogium won't come for at least another few months, maybe a year."

He looked disappointed. "Oh. So we're not gonna…" he squinted. "What was it, exactly, you wanted to do?"

Kes frowned with her eyes. "Explore each other. Isn't that what we're doing?"

Suder looked like that wasn't entirely what he'd had in mind. But he managed a nod. "Yeah. Um…yeah."

They continued exploring each other, mentally and physically.

Until another rude interruption.

"_Bridge to Airponics Bay_," Commander Chakotay's voice came in over the com.

Kes gasped, and scrambled for her com. badge. "Kes here, Commander."

"_The computer's detected a fire down there. Everything alright_?"

"Yes…yes, everything's fine. We—I—was just doing some exercises, with my telekinetic abilities. I'll try to keep it more contained next time."

"_All right, no worries. Chakotay out._"

Kes and Suder looked at each other, and silently agreed to get dressed.

* * *

><p>When Lt. Walter Baxter and his security team arrived to escort Suder back to his quarters, he and Kes were fully clothed. Kes went with them, essentially being the "gentleman" and walking Suder back to his quarters.<p>

"Could we have a moment?" Kes asked Lt. Baxter, when they were inside Suder's quarters.

"Five minutes." Baxter agreed.

He and his two security guards stepped outside and let the doors hiss shut.

"I'm sorry," Kes said. "I should've had more control."

"I'm older," Suder said. "In Betazoid _and_ Ocampan years. I'm the one who should've known."

Kes opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but wasn't sure how to word it. "Lon I…in a few months, when I do undergo my Elogium…it will be my one and only chance to have children. I realize it's a big thing to ask of someone, but…we _are_ both alone out here…so...if you're interested…"

Suder looked as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. The emotions she picked up from him were a conflicted torrent of feelings, most of them negative. It felt like a long, long time before he responded.

"I don't think I should be procreating with anybody." Suder finally said.

Kes thought she knew what he was getting at. "We can talk to the Doctor, Lon. Find out if your condition is hereditary, if there's anything we can do to prevent it from passing on."

"I don't _want_ to have children with anybody." He looked at her like it should have been so obvious. "You think a child wants to grow up with the ship murderer as his dad?"

Kes stared back at him, crestfallen.

The doors hissed opened, and Lt. Baxter cleared his throat. "Nurse," he said, addressing her politely by rank.

Kes stepped into the hallway, and turned back to Lon. "Goodbye, Mr. Suder."

Suder just gave her a curt nod, and then looked at the guard, silently asking him to shut the door for him. The guard obliged.

Kes continued to her quarters at an even pace, determined that no one notice anything different about her. She bid hello to Sue Nicoletti and Liat Tabor. Why couldn't she fall for someone like Tabor? Someone normal? Why did she always have to go for the men who were just...wrong? Men who, in all honesty, would certainly not provide the best genetic material when it her Elogium came rolling around? Suder was right. If Kes wanted children she'd have to do better. What was wrong with Liat Tabor, or William Teffler, or Harry Kim?

_Harry Kim_. Now there was an idea…

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><p><strong>AN: I watched some Peter Lorre movies and now I'm in a "creepy guy" mood. What can I say. **

**I wrote this story so it could stand as a one-shot, but be opened for continuation.  
><strong>


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